It's Not The Words, But What's Behind The Words That Matters

It's so easy, sometimes, to take a piece of scripture out of context, tell yourself what you think it means, and live up to the reasonably low standard that interpretation sets for you. For example, Ephesians 4:29a (honestly, the only part of Ephesians 4 I've EVER heard quoted by many Christians) says, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths."

Which, obviously, means, "don't use curse words." Right? That seems easy enough. Guard our tongues. Awesome. Next. 

Well... let's slow down, Speedy, and take a step back.  

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:29-32)

Wait... you mean it's not just the words we say, but the spirit in which those words are said? Afraid so. 

See, if I've learned anything about the character of God, it's that He is far more concerned with the hearts of His children than He is with their religiosity. Certainly, He wants for us to watch that what we say is glorifying to Him... but it's never really been about the words. It's about the Heart. It helps to remember what Jesus said in Matthew 22:

³⁷ Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’^{[c] 38} This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’^{[d] 40} All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Every other thing comes down to love. So, what we see, when we look back at Ephesians 4, is that it's not about the words, but about the intent. If you never, ever utter a "curse word," but your words are bitter, or biting, or judgmental, then you are defying Christ's command that we love one another. 

Declaring your hatred for another by saying, "that guy is a gosh-darn jerk" doesn't make you a better Christian... just a bigger hypocrite.