Oh Lord, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood (Expanded Edition)

The case of Justin Carter -- a Texas teen jailed for making an unfortunate sarcastic comment at the wrong time in history -- has prompted me to return to a familiar theme. This, minus some additions added below,  was originally posted in September of last year.

Oh, Lord, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

We live in a technological age which makes it both easy and convenient to communicate without speaking. This has not, of course, come without a price. I dare say while our ability to communicate has increased exponentially,  our skill at doing so has suffered greatly. We talk about everything -- our pets, our fears, our baggage -- without actually saying anything. And when we do have something to say, meanings can be lost in a digital world of typewritten words without voice or inflection. We have gained efficiency at the price of nuance.

What I mean to say is, thanks to technology, we can now be misunderstood, misrepresented, and accidentally offensive at greater speeds and rates than ever before. Turn that into a marketing slogan.

Some of being misunderstood, of course, is the fault of the listener. Communication is, after all, a two-way street. Sometimes this is willful misunderstanding -- a person may simply choose to ignore what you mean in order to attack what you said (we'll explore those motives another time). And sometimes, it is simply a genuine misapprehension.  This is something with which Jesus dealt throughout his entire ministry. His own disciples, in fact, were notorious for just not getting it.

The key, however, to being understood more often lies, not with the listener, but with you: the speaker. How easy it is to say the wrong thing! And when the internet, or a text message is involved, even easier. Because then, you don't have to see the face of the person. You're not held responsible, by that look of hurt or passing anger,  for the things you have said, no matter how well-intentioned.

But the Bible warns us about the danger inherent in our tongues. That, in fact, communication is itself potentially a deadly weapon. Proverbs 12:18 says, "The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." 

If Solomon had known about Facebook,  maybe he would have mentioned fingers, too. 


And now, an addendum.  

As easy as it is to say the wrong thing online, it's just as easy to point an accusing finger. To infer meaning in what was said and become offended over our own interpretations -- whether they are accurate or not! In a world where clarification seems to be key, it's so much easier to make assumptions about meaning instead of simply asking; to ignore the evidence of past encounters, and assume the worst about the person who made the offending comment. 

In short, while we've lost the fine art of nuance in this new, digital age, it seems that, in a world of instant information, we've also lost our capacity for Grace.